Random Thought…

I was on my throne (the bathroom one) thinking about how Jesus was so amazing. And I got to thinking, if Jesus never came in this world, showed people what it is to really love, would I believe in God? I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I would not. I don’t know if that’s sacrilege or anything like that but I honestly do not think that if Jesus didn’t come down, I would believe in God. I actually don’t believe many people would believe in God let alone know there is a God. But God forsaw this and loved us still so he sent his beloved Son. The Son saw this and showed us true love.

Just a realization I made today. I know God came to save the whole world and I was included in that plan but never bothered to wonder about the alternative if that had never been done.

Thank God!

Literrally.

BRU45

We brewed our own beer in microbiology class. It was kind of cool. It’s supposed to be a pale ale. I had a taste of it while we were bottling today and it was OK but was missing carbonation cause that develops in the bottle as the yeast ferments the priming sugar. BRU45 is a name one of my classmates came up with because Roosevelt University loves putting RU everywhere (RUmail, RUaccess, RU ready?, etc.) and 1945 is when it was established. I thought it was pretty cool at least so here’s a picture and it’s own blog post!

Wisdom

Just got done trying to advise one of my youth group kids. It made me realize, what do I really know. What wisdom do I really hold? Is God really using me?

What can I do to direct them? What can I do to help them? I really just don’t know. My life is not that glorious, my speech not that eloquent, my mind not that sharp. What can I do???

Really Lord, I leave everything to you. To really make use of the weak, the sinful, to do something for Your glory.

I leave everything I am at your feet. Use me as you will, if you want to. Cause God knows I wouldn’t want to use me.

Good Friday

It’s come to that day of the year again. Quite possibly the most important weekend ever, that Christ not only died for us but he rose again, proving to us that he was in fact God. Yet I realize sometimes how hard it is to keep my faith all the time. I look at the Bible and just wish that just once, something amazing, some miracle could happen so that Jesus could PROVE his existence in my life. How much I get wrapped up in just wanting him to send me just a sign, something so I know. Then I realize all his miracles were not to prove that he was God; he performed them because he saw that these people needed him and he had compassion. The true mark that he was God was that he died and rose again and fulfilled all the prophecies. God, why am I so lacking in faith?

Something he has done in the last couple of years in my life is to destroy any shape of pride I have. When I became a Christian during freshman year, I realized pride was a large thing I struggled with. But slowly God has simply been showing how worthless I am. Instead of loving what I can do, I realize just how little it means. When I first became a Christian, I thought God has huge but now, I just can’t comprehend all that He is. Because He’s done so much, used me so much, and most of all loved me so much that I can never wrap my mind around it. And I feel so insignificant and I realize once you start seeing that you’re smaller and smaller, that’s the only way you can see more and more of God.

He came to bear the physical retribution of my sins, so that I may have the chance to live before I even believed that he loved me so much that he bore a crown of thorns, three nails, and unimaginable pain for me so that he could take three steps so I could take one. While I see myself as just a worthless person who nailed a faultless, quintessential beautiful man to a cross, he saw me as the person he could not bear to live without. When I see myself as the person who denied him three times so that I could run away, he died so I could be strong. So when I am distraught because I think I am all alone, he rose again so i could have courage. So when I doubt that I need to feel the scars within his hands, he could show me how much he loved me.

I know You gave the world Your only son for us to know Your name, to live within the Saviour’s love. He took my place, knowing he’d be crucified. He loved, you loved a people undeserving.

Founder’s Week

The pastor’s illustration:

He was driving a car in Scotland and turned the wrong way on a one way street. There was a large collision of two vehicles. The person in the other vehicle came out with a look of fury on his face and said, “Somebody’s going to pay!” pointing at the wreckage.

And isn’t that true? Somebody has got to pay when things are ruined. It doesn’t ever just go away and won’t just disappear. When we mess up, we have to pay. The downfall of man is two sided, one from man’s point and one from God’s point. Man goes on to think that he’s just not that bad. He does his best to do what he can and sometimes messes up but he doesn’t ever think in his heart that he is evil. The denial of the necessity of God is at the heart of man. From God’s view, He in all His Holiness, can not overlook any of our sinfulness. So then if the damager can not realize his damage and the damagee can not overlook it, what is to happen?

And this is the debt that Christ pays. The debt that is too large for God to overlook and for us to pay. He came to pay the price for the sins He had never committed. Because somebody had to pay, He was tortured, nailed on a cross between two criminals in a bitter wasteland. He came to do what he could not do for ourselves in an unbelievably, foolish loving way. And there’s no mistake about how foolish it was to save us, just like how foolish it is to pay the cost of the accident for a person who makes the wrong turn on a one way street. It’s inconceivable the love that flowed that day to set the guilty free.

Christ has paid the price for our sins at enormous cost. So let’s not go on living like we can attain purpose and salvation but rather live like we have been freed from a debt that could never be payed off for something that was completely our faults.

*EDIT*

Recently I just had a spiritual revelation and I must attribute it all to God just working in my life. While things weren’t going right all the time, God really started showing me where I have fallen short for years, ever since I started serving. To really some it up, God lead me to hear Phil Vischer’s  (the creator of Veggietales) testimony which really completely my realization and helped me desire God in a way I haven’t for years. Really I urge people to listen to his testimony but I know people are going to think whatever and not listen or think they’re too busy. But I really can’t help but share this just for the chance that it might speak to someone, even a small portion of the way it spoke to me. I realize I was missing one of the most fundamental parts of being a Christian, truly loving God. So with no further ado, here is a recording of Phil Vischer speaking for Founder’s Week at Moody!

Phil Vischer speaking at Moody

Providence

This is the first time in a long time that I am in love with God.

Not loving the blessings he gives.

Not loving the mission he has given me.

This is the first time in a long time that I believe in His providence.

Not the power he gives me.

Not the decisions I make for myself.

This is the first time in a long time I feel free and at peace within myself.

Not because of anything I’ve done

But because I get to love my God

I don’t have to slave to do his mission

His mission comes out of the love I have for Him

and so I’ll leave everything up to Him.

First time in a long time…

cause I don’t want it any other way.

Urine

OK, I thought something was wrong with me because my urine smells after drinking coffee but apparently that’s normal. Phew!

The Lion and the Gazelle

A little something I thought was pretty clever…

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.

It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you’d better be running!

Running and Spiritual

Running… It’s painful, it’s hard, it’s torturous. Sometimes you wake up after a run with legs that feel like someone had just replaced them with Jello prosthetics. It’s no fun either. How many times have you seen a marathon runner crack a toothy, wide-grin smile across their face at any time during a race? After running for 30 minutes, maybe 45 minutes, using all your precious energy and heaving like a woman in labor, no matter how hard you ran, you without fail end up where you started. Whether you run inside, on a track circling and circling like an animal in a cage, or outside, with the illusion you are running somewhere even though you conveniently forget your ending location never differs from your start. And even if you were running somewhere, you are helpless to stop when mother nature thinks it’s comical to throw rain and snow at you.Then, we can agree that running is pointless, quite utterly the most hopeless thing we can do, can we not?

No… Quite the opposite actually.

You see, if you’re like me, you are overweight from the overconsumption of just about anything. Being overweight puts you at the end of many life ending risks, starting and not ending with heart disease. Did you know the plaque build up in your arteries is in almost all cases, permanent? All it takes is one clot. Physically, slender is what attracts the eye. Sort of like why you drink soup at a classy restaurant with a silver spoon and not a wooden spatula. In the end, the pain and discomfort of running are small prices to pay to live to see the day when you can see your beautiful grandchildren after having met your attractive wife.

In all honesty, the difficulty of running is part of the lure after a while. Running up hills, through rain, cold, and snow, you have this wonderful euphoria surround you that you are in fact, unstoppable. That you are a machine, powered by PowerBars and Propel, and that nothing can stop you. Even though at the end of the run you aren’t grinning outside, inside you can’t help but smile and pat yourself on the back. And even though you always end at the same place, it’s not the destination that is important but the journey itself. I love running, the effort I have to put in it, the health benefits it has for me, and the sense of accomplishment.

So why is it that I am so bad with spiritual disciplines?

In many ways it seems like running. It’s tough to put aside the time and settle myself down to have that quiet time but it’s worth it. But why oh why can’t I just do it? It’s frustrating on a whole new level. It’s even worse because I am obese, lazy, and apathetic in my spiritual life right now so why can’t I just even put my hands together and bow my head to pray? What makes it worse is that someone asked me if I could become a teacher for a youth group but I haven’t been seriously praying or asking God at all and it has been 3 weeks!

But I guess it’s done in baby steps. Kind of like when i first started running, I ran 2 miles, then 3, then 4, then 5, I need to push myself lightly but firmly. And understand that there is grace for sinners like me. God please lavish your mercy on me and give me strength, the will, the heart to be strong, not a stupid, fat slob. Where in running, I earn everything with my hard work, I know spiritually it’s not just about me. I am the prodigal son, many times over.

Through amazing grace and not by myself,
Peace Out

-handsomehwang-

Long Road to Forgiveness

This is something that has been heavy in my heart lately I guess especially during this economic turmoil. Everywhere you look, it’s money this, the economy that. Everyone is scared they are going to lose their money. But in the end, most everyone will feed themselves, even if there will have to be cutbacks made.

In America, how many times do you hear about people dying from starvation literally, not figuratively. Almost none. Even the poorest of the poor can beg for a meal a day. And this is the nation we live in, so powerful, so affluent, it is more wealthy than any empire that came before it.

When I went into my interview at Pennsylvania College of Optometry, I was interested in joining this club which raises money and then goes overseas to an impoverished nation, to give eye exams and glasses out. I told the interviewer that I was very interested in this club because I already had an interest in helping the impoverished in America. She looked at me and sternly said, “There are no impoverished people in America.”

And that hit me hard. She told me until I go overseas, I have no idea what poverty is. I have spent a long time pondering this thing she told me and each day it hits me harder and harder that I want to go overseas and witness this poverty.

And here I am in my sheltered being.

America is rich. America is loaded. I’m not saying we don’t have problems or poor people but no one can honestly look me in the face and tell me they don’t think America is wealthy. There is nothing in this world though that doesn’t come with a price. And the price of America being this affluent comes at a huge price.

15 million children die from hunger each year. 3 billion people are dying to make do with $2 a day. Of that, 1.3 billion people are living on less than $1 a day. 500 million people in Asian, African, and Latin American countries are living in absolute poverty defined as “a condition characterised by severe deprivation of basic human needs, including food, safe drinking water, sanitation facilities, health, shelter, education and information. It depends not only on income but also on access to services.”

I’m not a good person but I do want to help those who are in poverty. Not because I’ll feel good, because I’ll feel like I did something. I want to help them as penance, for the hope of forgiveness of the way I have lived.

There’s this cool video that Jason Mraz and Brett Dennen just made about a song that they recently created together.

-handsomehwang-